, like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah.
, we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.
Not only are you wasting your time, but you’re wasting the time of other people and coming off as a total creep in the process. Did I say anything remotely sexual the night we met? What if you, based on reading her profile, opened the conversation with something you know is interesting to her rather than just “Hey,” or some cheesy pickup line?The theory goes that when you’re learning a skill – whether it’s ninjutsu or 21st century mating rituals – you’ll make greater progress if you practise intensively. After 30 minutes on Tinder – the app that lets people hook up with the swipe of a finger – frantically registering my interest with no regard for acne, bodyweight or bad teeth, I’m rewarded with several matches. “If you want to appear confident, be armed with something to open with. Talk about the weather if you have to.” K from Tinder is a nice, slightly chubby nanny. Loads can't) My second nanny of the day, teetotal L, again from Lovestruck.For the next month, I’m going to date as many women as possible. I’m met by E at a Tube station on a freezing Sunday night. She’s from Lovestruck, originally from Riga, and works in Mayfair for an oil company. I suspect she would put out if we met over wine, rather than coffee and cake. Sublime planning means I only have to walk 100m to my next date, B from Lovestruck, who sadly hasn’t walked 100m herself in quite some time. Delightfully dim but, that apart, she’s not my type.Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile? [pagebreak] OUT-OF-TOWN AND OUT OF TOUCH The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31 The problem..the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women.So, by now, you’ve got a digital dating portrait worthy of Da Vinci.